Sunday, January 31, 2010

Heavy Metal Ho-story

Back in the early 80's when we used to go into Manhattan to cop and get high we would decide to take the Lincoln Tunnel home instead of the GW Bridge to avoid Fort lee cops waiting on the Jersey side to bust our spick asses. Since this was before the Giuliani clean-up the area near the tunnel from like 37th to 42nd was full of hookers, tons of them. Quite a sight to behold.

We use to love cruising and talking to them, some would let us grab their tits and asses, some where stuck up because they knew we had no money. Sometimes we'd do drive-by ass-slaps and tit and crotch grabs, funny as hell. Some would chase us or throw high heels and shit.

So quite often we would play this song. To all the Hos out there here is some old Maiden with what else but Charlotte the Harlot.

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Taxes to Taxes

Since I've been broke due to crappy recession bonuses this year I have to file my tax return ASAP, to get my own money back, to pay my property taxes. What fucking vicious circle. Since I don't trust people, because most them are gross, I use Turbotax. Sacopapa did scare me a bit this week with his government conspiracy rant against Turbotax, but I'd rather risk Stormtroopers at my house rather than trust a South Florida accountant. Plus Sacopapa believes every conspiracy in the book anyway.

So hopefully this efile shit works quickly so I can turn around and pay my property taxes before I get a visit from the Broward Sheriff. Plus now with Obama being all defiant, it surely seems I won't be getting my beloved stimulus check again in 2010. Shit sucks. I am the Robotman.

Friday, January 29, 2010

Texas sucks Ass!

I truly hate everything that is about Texas. My ex wife is from Texas, I served in the biggest goddam Military Post In Texas. I ran over a Deer once in Texas and crossing Texas took over 13 hours to do so. This fucking place on the Map is fucking huge and never ends. The ckicks are insanely hot, but super fucking dumb! The guys are super fucking stupid and spicks there, not sure what to make of them. Horrible place to live. I will never go back to this fucking hell hole if you paid me a million dollars.

On a lighter note, there is only one good thing that came out of Texas, besides the ho's and that would be Pantera. So taking you out this Friday, I give Heresy. Old time favorite song from the Cowboys from Hell Album. Have a great weekend and as always, smoke'm if you got'em. Peace!

Sacopapa out!!


Thursday, January 28, 2010

Oh oh Not again!

Well well, guess who is at it again? More fucking lies to come. This guy just doesn't get it. Now he is telling us that the worst is over. Yeah right, I think he has a great future in Comedy. I can almost see it " Russell Simmons comedy night, special guest, Obbbbaaamma!! Fuck, he was very non sholont up on the podium telling jokes, cracking up, while the public is shitting bricks about to loose their houses. How would this fucking joker know about being broke, he has been steeling from the rich and poor since day one. What about cuntpelocy laughing at all his stupid jokes. These 2 belong together, in Haiti. Romantic vacation in a deserted island! I'm sick of this shit, I say wake up America and let's get Robosaco to run the Country. Look at it this way, we will give mass cash back to the country. Here are a few examples:

A: Legalize Weed, I know I would say mass cash that way.
B: If you are on Welfare, you must be disabled and drug test every month
C: prostitution, Legal. No more broke Teenage girls
D: Drop interest rates on everything
E: Fuck other countries, they can all go down the tubes. Isnt that why we are number One?
F: Senerators and Congressman must be ex-military. Had it with all the fucking drunks and crack heads.
G: Ex spouse can't collect alimony any more. Fend for yourself bitch!
H: I could on forever, but we must save a little for 2012.

This is Sacopapa from WNY and I've had with this comedy show in Washington.

Sacoapa out!

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Total Recall

Oh shit! Can we the US be phasing out Toyota? For a brand that prides itself on quality, this could be a crippling blow.

In an unprecedented decision, Toyota Motor, the world leader by sales, Tuesday said it was suspending sales of eight of its most popular models in the U.S. due to potential accelerator problems. The extraordinary step follows a recall last week of 2.3 million vehicles in the U.S. and an earlier recall of 4.2 million vehicles -- both due to similar issues

Can the US be desperate enough to say that Toyota is fucked up so that they can sell more American cars? Can this be another American conspiricy? All this shit sounds too fishy. Whatever, I would never buy a fucking Toyota anyway, I think they are a bunch of Sardine Cans anywway. Hopefully we do kick the Jap cars out of this country. Everyone that drives them are Fish heads or fucking Pepepingus from other Countries.

Anyway, that's my personal feeling and I'm sticking with it!

Sacopapa out!

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

What the Fuck Tuesday

I am starting a new series here on the Robotman Blog. It is "What the Fuck". For my first edition I will discuss fashion trends....

Klogs, Clogs, Crocs, whatever the fuck you call them. What is up. I see people with these things everywhere. Supermarkets, restaurants, Wal-Mart (of course), airplanes, and a host of other places. Even some nurses are in on the act. If I owned a hospital it would be back to the white uniforms. Shit is out of control. I just don't get it.

Really, unless you are under 9 years old and near a swimming pool you have no business wearing these fucking things. Well maybe if they are made of wood and you live in Holland in 1840. Is it a fashion statement? Are they cool in some way that I cannot comprehend? Did you just give up on life? Back in the day in Jersey you wouldn't walk a block before you got your ass kicked for wearing that shit.

What the fuck. I am the Robotman.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Monday Saintly Body

After the New Orleans victory who else but Reggie Bush's piece of ass and reality star Kim Kardashian for our babe of the week. Congrats also to the Colts and even to the Jets for the season they had, they will be a force for the next few years. Let's hope the Giants get their shit together and we can have a all NY/NJ Superbowl one of these years.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Corporate Prisoner/ Metal History

I often sit in my cubicle sometimes ponder what led me to this existence (it's mostly cause I'm a hammerhead). A few days ago I was in my cube and was Skyping my old friend Sacopapa telling him him about how many bosses and shit I have and he told me I was not a number, that I was a free man......

We want information, information, information.
Who are you?
The new number two.
Who is number one?
You are number six.
I am not a number, I am a free man.

From the classic show and then the classic band. Another 80's road trip song.

Friday, January 22, 2010

LFL Friday

If you have not seen Lingerie Football Leauge than you are missing a hell of a boner game. This chicks have been hand picked to play Football and one of the requirements is that you must be insanely hot and you must be able to play like a real football player. This is just like the real thing, they have games every week, Fantasy Football and Lingerie Bowl.
The season Kicked Off on September 4, 2009 and culminate with Lingerie Bowl VII on February 7, 2010. The championship game will coincide with the Super Bowl and be held in Miami, Florida.
I've just started watching them late Friday nights and talk about getting a boner. They are insanely hot with their uniforms and most of them have serious Tits and Asses. I encourage you to watch them, you must check your local channel for dates and times. You won't be disapointed, I promise.
Here is a quick clip of what you can expect from them on a weekly basis. These Ho's Rock!! Enjoy and Thank God it's Friday! Smokem if you gotem.

Sacopapa out!


Thursday, January 21, 2010

Thursday Monkey Wrench

LMAO!!! Republican Scott Brown's victory Tuesday in a Senate special election in Massachusetts blindsided President Obama and Democratic leaders, who had nearly reached the finish line on an ambitious overhaul of the nation's health-care system and were beginning to turn their attention to other challenges, namely creating jobs and lowering the deficit. Yeah right, more like dishing out more cash to stupid companies so they can fill their pockets with our hard earned cash. Fucking thieves is what they are.

Here is a perfect example of the Health Care Reform Bill. If you are a nurse and paid 140K for your education, Mr Purple lip is going to make sure you get minimum wage so you can work to pay off your education bill by the time you are 100. Fucked situation for anyone trying to make a decent way of life.

If this bill is passed it would fill their pockets with more cash then you can ever imagine. Obama added to the confusion Wednesday when he seemed to endorse one option: having both the House and the Senate start from scratch, by voting on a scaled-back package of popular provisions that would crack down on insurance companies but provide health coverage to far fewer additional people. Yup, you heard it here, him and his boys are a bunch of fucking clowns trying to reinvent the wheel. Scott’s victory has really thrown a monkey wrench in their plans. After riding a wave of success and support for two years, Democrats have realized in recent weeks that 2010 will be a far more difficult slog. You and I know this bill will not pass but until Hitler goes down, we are still fucked with him till 2012.

These clowns need to be kicked out of white House soon.

What a disgrace to America.

Sacopapa Out!

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Obama Report Card- 1 year later

An honest analysis. First check out my inauguration review from last year.

I just did my Turbotax and after all is said and done I am paying about $3k more in taxes this year and I make nowhere near $250k and the same as I made last year. I really need more of my own money as my oldest is starting college this year. Fucking sucks big time.

I never expected the government to own the nations largest automaker. Now he wants to tax the banks who paid back the money but not AIG, Fanny Freddy, GM, etc.

The Healthcare Bill is just more welfare to system already rampant with fraud and abuse and will end up costing regular actual taxpayers in the end in the way of additional costs or diminished services.

More of the same old backroom shenanigans that have been typical Washington which he claimed was not him before he was elected.

As far as the wars he was handed I think he has done OK. Bush fucked it up by not listening to McCain sooner. The shoot to kill order on the Somali Pirates was awesome.

I give him a D+, and am sure McCain would have done much better. Extra credit available. If he legalizes it nationally, he can go up 2 grades.

I am the Robotman.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Happy MLK Day/ Babe of the week

Here at Robotman we wish everyone a Happy Martin Luther King day. We sure did cop alot of weed at MLK Blvd back in the day. We love and honor babes of all nations and colors, including the scrumpdeli-icious Gabrielle Union who is our Babe of the Week.

On a sports note congrats to Brett Farve, making all us mid-life crisis over 40's feel good. Of course as I predicted last week the Gayboys lost. Hehe. And holy shit J-E-T-S, kicking ass and taking names. Nice job.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Heavy Metal History

Back in the High School years, my parents used to play poker on Saturday nights at friends houses, so our apartment was free for me to use. I use to have Sacopapa and other friends over. We would smoke weed on the balcony so we wouldn't stink up the house. It had an awesome view of the NYC skyline and we would just talk and shit. My pops had a nice Sansui Stereo and for some reason we would usually like to kick of the evening with Hell's Bells. Ah, memories.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Sad Friday

Today is a sad day for Me as I lost a very close friend to Cancer. She was a Los Angeles Superior Court Judge. She was super cool and would always give good advice. RIP in Florence, you will be deeply missed by all.

Todays video is Ozzy, Good Bye to Romance. I know Florence would of like this played in her name.

Sacopapa out :0(


Thursday, January 14, 2010

Heart Felt Thursday

My heart goes out to everyone in Haiti. The reports are that more than 50, 000 are dead and the count keep rising.
In the day and a half since a 7.0 earthquake hit off the coast of Haiti, the international community has pledged support to the recovery process, and aid groups have entered the country and its devastated capital Port-au-Prince to begin distributing food and supplies.

This is a demonstration of how our Planet doesn't give a fuck about people trying to save the World. When it's ready to take us out it will do it and it will do it with all its mighty force.

I just read that the US will be giving Haiti 100 Million Dollars for Aid. Wish all the other Countries would step up to the plate like we do. I wish all the survivors much luck and hope they can reunite with whatever family they have left. This is some real fucked up shit to happen to them.

Sacopapa out!

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Where is Tiger Woods

It's been weeks now since one of the biggest celebrity sex scandals in history erupted, but the world's #1 golfer himself is nowhere to be seen.
He's always guarded his privacy, likely due in part to the 11 mistresses he was hollering at, and Tiger certainly hasn't changed his stripes.
Since the scandal blew up, Woods has been AWOL, commenting only briefly on his website with an apology and then announcing his break from golf.
So where is he? According to a resident in Woods' Windermere, Fla., community, he "comes by in the evening only for their counseling and therapy."
Yeah right, you know he only comes by to drop the check. Other than that, he is still playing 36 Ho's. If I was him, I would of taken a long absent vacation starting in Colombia and working my way around the World to see my Ex. Fucking guy, all that money and had to fuck around with dumb white bitches from the States. Wish he could of come for conseling at the Robosaco House of Love. We sould have shown him how to do it right, without getting caught.

Sacopapa out!

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Cheater Tuesday

As no surprise to anyone Mark McGwire has admitted he used steroids for 10 years including the year he broke the homerun record. His wife does have nice tits though, but you have to assume they are fake just like him. The only reason he even said anything is because he now is the Cardinals batting coach and he knows the press won't leave him alone until he did. He now joins Sammy Sosa, Barry Bonds, and the rest of the liars. Hopefully none of them ever make it to the Hall of Fame. Here at Robotman we recognize Roger Maris as the holding the home run record, with great honor to Babe Ruth as the only juice he needed was with his gin.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Babe of the Week/NFL Playoff News

Congratulations to the Jets, Ravens, and Packers (edit: Cardinals) for their wild-card weekend wins. Fuck the Cowboys as I was hoping they would continue their 13 year playoff futility. The will lose next week anyway. Out of the teams that won both Mark Sanchez and Aaron Rodgers (edit: Kurt Warner)are tapping super hot chicks, but Sanchez's babe, Hilary Rhoda is our babe of the week.

On another note, comedian and NY Giants fan Artie Lange has reportedly been released from the hospital, and here at Robotman we wish him the best of luck.

EDIT: I even saw the game and routed for the Cardinals. I Guess since Rodger's girlfriend is so much finer that Warner's wife I posted with my dick instead of my brain.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Metal History Sunday

Back in the early 80's NJ, in our teenage years it was all about spur of the moment road trips to NYC for copping, partying, hanging, whatever. We just called it "Citybound". We'd listen to our mixed tapes, but not faggy disco DJ tapes, it was our rock and metal album compilations. Shit would get us pumped. Seems every tape we had had this song on it. What could be cooler than breaking the law while listening to Breaking the Law.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

True Colors

It came out that Harry Reid, who is currently robbing us blind and recently outed racist piece of shit, had some remarks about Obama in 2008, here is the quote:

"The country is ready for a black president – particularly a "light-skinned" one "with no Negro dialect, unless he wanted to have one."

He now apologizes:

"I deeply regret using such a poor choice of words. I sincerely apologize for offending any and all Americans, especially African-Americans for my improper comments"

Later Saturday, Obama accepted Reid's apology "without question" because he'd known him for so many years. "I have seen the passionate leadership he's shown on issues of social justice and I know what's in his heart," Obama said in a written statement. "As far as I am concerned, the book is closed."

What a nice happy fucking family, imagine a GOP member had said that. Holy shit. McCain just called him "that one" and they wanted to crucify him. They should be calling for Reid's resignation. All Obama wants is to pass his fucked up Welfare Care Bill and will accept a racist as Senate majority leader. Sad. Truly sad. Harry, let me use my Jersey Cuban dialect...

Get the fuck outta here you fucking carapinga.

I am the Robotman and I'm pissed.

Friday, January 8, 2010

Thank God It's Friday

There is nothing more that turns me on than seeing a hot piece of ass with a gun. Any chick that can shoot a gun is definitely in my books. Love to see when a hot Ho shoots, especially when you see big boobs bouncing all over the place. Here is a Hot video of bitches shooting rifles. You will get a kick out of the ending part. enjoy!! TGIF and as always, smokem if you gotem. Sacopapa out!


Thursday, January 7, 2010

What Da Fuck Thursday

Sacopapa reporting for duty. It's funny how most people don't know you're from Jersey until you open your mouth. The cool folks will think you are funny and witty. The dipshits will think you are a fucking asshole. We think everyone is an asshole. We don't take shit from anyone and always speak our minds.

Being from Jersey makes you a Hammer Heads. My good friend Robotman once said "You can get the kid out of Jersey, but you can't get the Jersey out of the kid", so fucking true. I live in Cali and this place if full of pussies. The super cool ones are not originally from here. The ones that are from here are stuck and continously have a stick up there ass.

I just had a small incident with someone that I thought was a friend, but ended up being a fucking pussy. Typical Cali fucking homo. Sacopapa Jr takes Karate and he accidentally got hit in the mouth. No biggie for him as he is a tough kid and being around me, he has a lot of Jersey influence. He was struck in the mouth and he told the instructor that he thought his tooth had been knocked out. He is going through a growing spur and his teeth are loose. Needless to say he left the training matt and went to the bathroom to check. Here is where the Jersey comes into play.

This so called friend, we'll call him "Napolian Kumar". Kumar is sitting behind me around some fat fucking hos and they all adore his ass cause he is rich and speaks to them. Us from Jersey we see that shit and stay far away from it. If you don't have a prety face, sweet tits and a banging ass, we won't talk to you. So Kumar thinks he's cool and decides to say a smart ass remark about Sacopapa Jr. This is what I heard "Humm, that kid should of knocked out his tooth, would of done him a favor". I heard it and turned into the Jersey Hulk as you all know the Hulk's Saying is, "Don't make me angry, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry!" I turn around and in front of all his fat hos I said " Hey Kumar, how about I knock one of your fucking teeth out!". Keep in mind, I said with the phat fucking Jersey accent. The fat fucking hos shut up, his buddy said "Damn Kumar". I then said "if you got a problem we can take this shit outside!". The fucking place went quiet. He just shribbled up and said nothing.

After the class he walked over to me and was all apologetic. He started to defend himself by saying, "no no no, that is not what I meant". I was like "yeah you did, I heard with my own fucking ears". I tried to take him outside to talk, but Kumar would not do it. He ended up later on that night calling me on the cell and apologizing. He kept telling me that he was scared and all he could see was me walking in his house and shooting him. I told him no need for that, I would of just kicked your ass. Fucking hilarious.

The next day I saw him at school as his son is in the same class with Mojonsita. First thing he did was stuck out his hand and said "I'm very sorry for the misunderstanding". I was like "getdafuckouthere, it's all good".

So you see my friends, be cool at all times, you never know when you might run into a Jersey Hammer Head.

Sacopapa out!!

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Happy Hump Day!

Sacopapa reporting for duty, So last night I was watching ESPN and I saw the Carls Junior Commercial of Kim Kardashian and that ho gave me a Boner. I then realized that most of us guys are ASS MEN. I just can't imagine what her boyfriend must be doing with that Phat Ass. I know I would be tagging that shit everywhere. Lucky motherfucker that is all I say for him. Anyway, Happy Hump Day and I hope some of us can enjoy a nice fat ass this week. I know I will!!

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Giant Losers

Giants are gross for going out they way the did and with the last game at the old stadium. At least they fired that useless defensive coordinator. I could have done a better job while smoking dust. Hope they make up for it at the new stadium next year. Congrats to the Jets for making the playoffs though, and for leaving the last game at Giants Stadium to be a win. I used to hate the Jets when I lived in Jersey and was kind of a Dolphin fan (AFC) until I moved down, Jimmy Johnson destroyed the team, I saw what douchebags Dolphins fans are, and they call themselves Dolfans, which is very, very gay. So lets go J-E-T-S.

Monday, January 4, 2010

Monday Babe/Howard News

Above the lovely Mrs. Stern, Beth Ostrowsky as our first babe of the week of 2010. I can't believe Howard fucks that fine piece of ass with a rubber. On the Howard front, Artie Lange is now in the hospital with an unknown ailment. He was also mysteriously off the show for like the last month. I hope Howard talks about it today. Rumors are that Jim Breuer (SNL goatboy) may replace him, as I recently predicted. Artie is hilarious and I wish him luck but his continued absences bring down the show. Breuer is funny as hell and will bring a nice dynamic in the last year of Howard's current contract if he is the man if Artie is in fact done. Stay tuned.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Metal History Sunday

I first got into Accept around '82 or '83 after Sacopapa purchased the Restless & Wild and Balls to the Wall albums at Music Scene on Bergenline Ave. After we heard those we started checking their older stuff and thought I'm a Rebel kicked ass and kinda became an anthem for us. Here is an early video below, Udo looks funny with long hair.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

End of the Holidays

Happy New Year to all. For my first post of the year I will use a reprint from the old My Wife Hates Me blog. Things haven't changed all that much.


The holidays have past. Another year is upon me. The holidays were pretty much the usual spend-a-credit-a-thon this year. I went to parties where I don’t know a bunch of the people and seem to always end up near some person I just met a few hours before. Seems an awkward time to meet someone, “Hello there, I’m Joe Knucklehead and work at the cheese factory, oh and by the way Merry Christmas”. “Hey, Bob Fuckface, the cement salesman, happy fucking new year”. Sheesh.

There was an added monkey wrench this holiday season with my dryer and the Best Buy repair team, but I will leave that sordid tale for another day. For now, let’s just say that Mr. Brad Anderson, CEO of Best Buy, knows me and my dryer works.

One thing, with teenagers, the Christmas lists do get easy. Here is the whole list: 1.CASH. No beating around the bush for my offspring. My wife is a bit more complicated, as it’s a mix of cash, gifts, obedience, and yet another thin slice of my soul. Not too bad. I did receive a few nice gifts from the wife and kids that I paid or will pay for. Hey, it’s the thought that counts.

I did have a few days off work during the holidays and still have a couple before I go back, and as they say a bad day doing pretty much anything else besides work is still better than a good day at work. Then it’s back to the cubicle and business trips where I must serve and plan for the interest of others in exchange for monetary payments until the corporate gods decide that I have become too old and/or too expensive. Now, the “current economic conditions…” announcements and e-mails now add to the long list of weekly bullshit of synergy, products, and budget planning. One of these days that Vietnam Vet/NRA supporter a few cubicles away is going to snap and shoot half the people in the place. I told him to let me know and I’ll call in sick that day. He said he would. There is this guy in my office who keeps saying “happy new year” to people on the phone until the end of January. I even tell him it’s annoying as shit, but he thinks I’m joking. Hopefully Vietnam guy takes him out on rampage day.

That’s all the time I have for now, since I’m the automated taxi and cash dispenser, I have to go pick up my 14 year old daughter at the roller rink and have some skinny 14 year old boy with pimples attempt to direct some feeble and nervous greeting towards me as my daughter gets in the car. I am the Robotman.

Friday, January 1, 2010

Happy January 1st, 2010.

Yes Ladies and Gentleman, we made it through the New Year, but some of us are not doing so well from the massive hangover. I hope this year we hit the Powerball, get raises and hopefully someone will find some good dirt on Purple Lip. God knows we need a new president. Anyway today has been great recovering from the massive hangover that I'm still trying to cure with Tomatoe Juice and Beer. I honestly think that I'm getting drunk again. Weeehooo!!

Today is a day of College Football, more drinking and more eating. The weekend is going to blow by and by Monday we'll all be back at this fucked up Rat Race. I wish everyone a properous New Year and lots of good things to happen.

I'm feeling a bit drunk already, so let's go out with Mr. Bungle Retrovertigo. This video is Nice and Mellow for the head and yet with the evil mind of Mike Patton. Enjoy and TGIF!! Smokem if you gotem bitches. Saco out!